Clickbait Headlines Vol. III: Harry Potter and the Clickity BaitBop

  1. What Happens When You Sneeze And Fart Simultaneously Will Blow Your Perineum To Pieces
  2. Seven Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend When You Want An Excuse To Key His Car
  3. Shocking Video Reveals How Fucked Up Breastfeeding Is
  4. When Treating Your Dog Like A Human Baby Goes Too Far (note: see headline number 3)
  5. Five Easy Ways To Get Your Grandma To Shut Her Dicktrap About “Illegals”
  6. Wow! Local Doctor Discovers That This White Organic Fluid Which Shoots Out Of Penises During Climax Completely Cures Halitosis If Swallowed
  7. Lifehack: How To Woof Not Indicate Bark That You Used To Be Woof A Dog AROOoooOOoooOOO In A Past Woof Life Woof
  8. This Viral Video Of A Child Making Ponchos For The Homeless Will Make You Say “Wow Look At That Loser Kid, Doesn’t He Have A TV Show Like Chopped Junior Or Something To Be On”
  9. Unbelievable Old Man Still Manages To Be Creepy While On Deathbed Surrounded By Grandchildren And Puppies

Ellie Guzman is an anthropomorphic cheesepuff with a website. You can read my other clickbait posts here and here; join me on this exercise and send me your clickbait headlines! Get real weird with it.

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TV writer trying to figure it out. My book “Rags to Rags“ is available here: . You can support my writing here:

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