All I Can Do Now is Be Anxious

Ellie Guzman
3 min readMar 22, 2020
Don’t touch your face. [Photo by Ben Hershey on Unsplash]

I wish I could write an eloquent thinkpiece right now that could bring comfort to others, and more than anything to myself. I wish I could focus my attention to collecting data or on the flip side making a funny video to help people laugh. But honestly this is my brain right now:

anxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxietyanxiety!!!

I like to think of myself as a woman of science and don’t usually give in to fear mongering, but I think what’s getting to me the most is first hand accounts from current patients with COVID-19. I know that at 26 years old I’m in relatively good health, but I also know I’m an overweight asthmatic who has to take corticosteroids for her asthma twice a day. I’m scared for it to reach me, even though I know that symptoms are different for everyone. For all I know it could hit me and be just like a mild flu, or maybe I won’t even show symptoms. Who knows, I might have even already had it. But there’s a little voice in my head often saying: for all you know, you could be dead next week. And here, let me detail step by step what’s going to happen to you. And then I cry and work on my will and have…

--

--

Ellie Guzman

TV writer trying to have it all. Former healthcare worker turned comedy goblin. My book “Rags to Rags“ is available here: https://amzn.to/369O9ac